Saturday, May 30, 2009

Bombshell Potential Ethics Complaint

I know all of you (Mud) that have contributed money to my effort to make that governor accountable to me, are wondering if I've been able to garner any information to bring this "woman" known as Cuda to her knees...I may just have it.

What I found is A-freakin'-mazing...

It seems our 24/7 Governor is SITTING DOWN ON THE JOB and it’s not at her desk! Our sources tell us that the Guv takes frequent visits to the ladies room throughout the day – without her BlackBerries, assistants or groups of motorcycle gangs in order to validate her absences from the office.

Of course, our hall monitor was BANNED from the Guv’s mansion and office, but our sources tell us that they have a good idea of how many non-Alaska related trips our lovely Guv takes to the lavatory: if you estimate that our Sunshine Sarah is AWOL in the water closet approximately eight times per day, at a minimum of 10 minutes each – that equals 80 minutes a day! Multiple that by seven days and that is almost 9.3 hours per week … are you ready for this? The final tally: approximately 485 HOURS of toilet trips per year!

What Have We Learned? The Governor wastes over 20 days per year in the loo ... paid with … Alaskan tax dollars! Oh, let’s not stop there. We know that once HRH is behind stall doors, she’s swiping the wipes. Who knows how much toilet paper the Guv uses while pottying on our dime! Five sheets of double-ply… I don’t think so!! Knowing how much our Pal Palin likes “free” stuff, she’s probably using at least 10 sheets at a time. Folks, we’re talking about entire Alaskan forests getting flushed away just to create enough TP for SP. Just the cost of tissue for Sarah P. will PLUNGE the state budget into the red! Ain’t she just charmin’ the Charmin!

Friday, May 29, 2009

Dear Leader "Urged" by Governor Palin

My, my, my....Look what we have here
Governor Palin "Urging" the wonderful, dynamic, dapper, handsome, charming, and cool President of the United States of America (which now I like, at least for the time being) Barack Hussein Obama to "Stand Firm"...Are you kidding me or what. "Stand Firm"??? What does that mean?
No!! That is exactly the wrong advice to give.....So here's mine because I have a blog, therefore I am important.
Mr. President, Dear Leader, what you need to do is go on a whirlwind tour to North Korea. Take TOTUS, and let those Koreans know just how sorry you are that they have had to deal with our stupid country interfering with their right to subject their population to starvation and a totalitarian dictatorship. Who are we to say they can't blow up their neighbors......or Alaska......wait a minute......never mind......Say you're sorry, and POOF, they will melt in your hand in the fashion of
Julio Osegueda
So, thanks Governor Palin, but "The One" doesn't need any advice from the likes of you....Especially when he has Rahm Emmanuel. Now that man is wise.
Another bit of advice I would give to the President, is to ask your army of lawyers if there was any violation committed in the governor's "urging"......Could be grounds to file a complaint you know.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Why I Hate Sarah Palin by Glinda Killin Beagles

Many of you may be wondering why I have such a psychopathic angry fixation with the Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin....
Well, I'll freakin tell you why

Number 1. She's a Republican.........All things not Democrat, must be destroyed.

Number 2. She's a CONSERVATIVE........What kind of Republican does she think she is?? Huh, Guvy Pal Pal....Dontcha' know the GOP is suppose to lick thy donkey boot?

Number 3. She's got a job.......I'm not sure what that is, but I don't like it.

Number 4. She's pretty......I haaaaate pretty girls. I mean you're pretty so what...RIGHT!!

Number 5. She's in shape.....Always showing those freakin legs of hers in public.....I haven't even seen my legs in 8 years......I mean come on already.

Number 6. The media always wants to talk to her and not me.......What a bunch of losers.
(except for you Shannyn, and Amanda, and Sean, and Keith, and MSNBC, and CNN, and LINK TV, and NBC, and Katie, and Charlie, and CBS, and PBS....luv u guys...smootches.)

Number 7. She's married to that snowmachine guy........He's not even obese, I mean yuk.

Number 8. She's a Christian......PAGANS RULE, and don't you forget it.

Number 9. She just thinks she's just so damn important......grrrrrr. Do you all know how many "Progressive Re-Education" Seminars I've had to attend since I was the official DNC Blogger for the State of Alaska, during the AWESOME DNC Convention in Denver last year??? No...well lots just so you know.

Number 10. Why is she so damn happy all the time!!!!!