Thursday, May 28, 2009

Why I Hate Sarah Palin by Glinda Killin Beagles

Many of you may be wondering why I have such a psychopathic angry fixation with the Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin....
Well, I'll freakin tell you why
.

Number 1. She's a Republican.........All things not Democrat, must be destroyed.

Number 2. She's a CONSERVATIVE........What kind of Republican does she think she is?? Huh, Guvy Pal Pal....Dontcha' know the GOP is suppose to lick thy donkey boot?

Number 3. She's got a job.......I'm not sure what that is, but I don't like it.

Number 4. She's pretty......I haaaaate pretty girls. I mean you're pretty so what...RIGHT!!

Number 5. She's in shape.....Always showing those freakin legs of hers in public.....I haven't even seen my legs in 8 years......I mean come on already.

Number 6. The media always wants to talk to her and not me.......What a bunch of losers.
(except for you Shannyn, and Amanda, and Sean, and Keith, and MSNBC, and CNN, and LINK TV, and NBC, and Katie, and Charlie, and CBS, and PBS....luv u guys...smootches.)

Number 7. She's married to that snowmachine guy........He's not even obese, I mean yuk.

Number 8. She's a Christian......PAGANS RULE, and don't you forget it.

Number 9. She just thinks she's just so damn important......grrrrrr. Do you all know how many "Progressive Re-Education" Seminars I've had to attend since I was the official DNC Blogger for the State of Alaska, during the AWESOME DNC Convention in Denver last year??? No...well lots just so you know.

Number 10. Why is she so damn happy all the time!!!!!

11 comments:

  1. I've always wondered why you hate her so. Thanks for finally revealing your flaws.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You poor thing! Looks like it is past your bedtime if you are grrrrrrrr'ing at hrh.

    This is a wonderful site, may I read often in order to release my stress? Can I, huh huh huh?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Miss, or Ms, oh hell, Glinda, whatever!

    I feel so sorry for you. I can only imagine how much anguish you feel knowing that you live in the shadow of Sarah Palin.

    I mean I just know that Sarah became so beautiful and strong and wise, just to spite you!

    Shame on Sarah for being such a goddess!

    She is a horrible woman for being such a competent Governor! I mean the nerve!

    It's just not fair, is it!

    Hang in there though! Never let them see you sweat! And I really mean that. NEVER let them see you sweat! (caaaack!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. How about those glasses, too? I mean, Palin is just TRYING to look smart. Who cares if she's worn them since she was 10? It's all an evil plot to fool the voting public into thinking she actually has a BRAIN!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Reason 11. Gov Palin actually makes a legitimate living by actually working.

    I have to depend on that damn Axelrod and the DNC for my pathetic existence.
    The check's always "in the mail" with those buffoons..
    Grrrr!~

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Glinda-

    A RARE,RECENTLY DISCOVERED YOUTUBE VIDEO FEATURING OUR OWN SHANNYN ("I'M NOT A BREEDER") MOORE

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi3erdgVVTw

    ReplyDelete
  8. Your talking points are so enlightening. You have managed to highlight every one of your psychopathic reasons for your hateful fixation of Sarah Palin. And your esplanation is so eloquent. You should be so proud that you can write such lovely prose and poetry about one of the ugliest and unintelligent people on the planet. Now, that takes talent and true journalism. I have one suggestion, however, you would have a more commanding influence if you would get a face lift. Your effect would be so much more powerful. Just ask Sarah.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Celtic,

    You rock!

    You are the premier F.U.B. site on the internet.

    Keep it up.

    By the way, I stole some bagels at the Palin rally. Where do I mail them?

    ReplyDelete