Celtic Tinker's

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

2009-07-04T00:46:00.000-07:00

It is with great sadness that I inform you of Glinda Killin Beagles passing...She is no longer with us. She had an accident tonight while eating her hoagie sandwich, but at least it was quick.

Although I do still have contact with her from her new location.
First report out of Hades suggests that her woldly antics have earned her some key benefits. Seems "Satan's not so little helper" isn't having "the worst" of circumstances. Limited torture and the atmosphere is only slightly "horrific". She will be missed.....

UPDATE: She has a message for the imposter known as "Linda"..."Dear Linda, I hope you enjoy the fruits of your karma and the depths of irrelevancy" :)

Kick Rocks....................................................

Angree McMood Announcement

2009-07-02T00:21:00.000-07:00

(Angree McMood asked to use my ever so popular forum to do her a favor...She's still "officially" unemployed, so she thought she would start a self-help center...For starters, she would like to use you, my stupid little minions as guinea pigs. Need help? Just ask her. - CelticTinker)

Dear Aunty Angree,

Is there something very wrong with you?

Feeling irritable, intolerant of others? Unable to find a job?

Do you feel yourself attacked on all sides?

Have your ankles been bitten, or do you dream of harming someone else?

Is constipation a problem?

Neurotransmitters low?

Have you developed an obsessive interest in measuring breast cleavage?

******************************

Angree McMood can help you: she knows all about being imbalanced.

Leave your problem comments for Aunty Angree.

Confidentiality guaranteed.

Angree McMood, agony aunt.

Today is the Big Day!

2009-06-30T22:08:00.000-07:00

Whoa hu hoe, today is the big one!
Today is the day where I have someone drive me to the Governor's Office and demand my very rights...with your money of course...

I'll hand over to my state government, the state government of Alaska your money. To receive in return, pages of emails to do whatever I wish to do with. So, I demanded a "Transparent" government, and I got....well I like that meme so I'm just going to say they withheld some emails from me, or something. But I am going to receive in my hands many pages in which I will view with MY EYES ONLY!! Then, and only when I come across anything that looks suspicious, or that you my minions wont understand properly, and I can twist a bit, will you see them. Now that I have laid out the ground rules, let me tell you what I' m looking for in particular.

I am going to prove beyond a shadow of doubt, that there is a conspiracy to GET Angree McMood!!! I just know that horrible talk show guy is conspiring with Governor Jogging Shoes to make Angree look bad and sound crazy. So, I'll be searching the name "Eddie" and that should take care of the governor once and for all.

So, thanks again my trusty idiots for donating to my illegal Paypal "fund"...You made a difference today...Now, I can justify my presense within the structure of the Alaskan Democratic Party

AKMoosemucker

2009-06-28T22:27:00.000-07:00

(AKMoosemucker fills in for me tonight because some right-winger might try to hurt me or something. OK, I didn't receive any "specific threats" per se. However, I feel a little scared, and well sometimes I'm a bit of a drama queen. So in my search for sympathy I called in the Moosemucker. - Celtic Tinker)

by: AKMoosemucker

Hey Blue Cabanans,

This is AKMoosemucker coming to you loud and clear from The Moosemound.

MBF Glinda has asked me to be her blogbuddy today, so here’s the SP (drat! that woman gets everywhere):

Glinda is the official Democrat blogger for Alaska and we go jogging together twice a week with my other BF, Brian. He’s a moose……… I know, it’s a head scratcher. "Glinda entered a competition for Democratics (American Idle? heh heh) and won". They picked a blogger from all 57 states and now she is the official face of the Alaska Democrats..... Hah, why the round face? (lol)

Glinda is in the middle of a project to get loadsa money from loadsa out of state ~~suckers~~ people and launch an iceberg before it melts, or she eats it (lol), can’t remember which. We’re gonna bust open the piggy bank any day now.

Sssh it’s a secret.

(PS. We don’t like MegStapletongue ‘cos she can’t spell ~~desication~~, ~~desoccated,~~ desecration... oops)

The Face of the Alaska Democratic Party

2009-06-27T00:09:00.001-07:00

You read that title correctly...
I am the "Face of the Alaska Democratic Party"

After the firestorm that erupted over my "child abuse", "hatred", "discrimination", and other things the Faux News crowd squawked about all week...everything is even better than before.

I was concerned that the Alaskan Democratic party might have a problem with Dr. Shillz recent attempt to use his free trial version of Photoshop 3.0. I wondered if they would run scared in the face of human rights organizations "Letters of Concern". No way...didn't happen. In fact, I've even been sent "Letters of Encouragement", and glowing articles written about my efforts to get money from my minions, by my esteemed comrades. To think that I would have a problem with MY party in MY STATE over this....GET REAL! The letter that made me most proud (author to remain anonymous) was the one that said, "Celtic Tinker, you ARE the face of the Alaskan Democratic party, we will never abandon you". (**sigh**)

So that means, my standing in the party is still "Official". I knew they wouldn't let me down...We TOOK an OATH, remember? So keep squawking about "decency" and "humanity" Bible thumpers. My PARTY loves ME!!! HA HA...and my minions pay my BILLS!

After all, I'm just following Dear Leader's lead.....

Calling Dr. Shillz

2009-06-24T00:51:00.000-07:00

Dr. Shillz

If ever there was need for an aesthetic hand to help me in my grand quest to bring down that wretched governor, it is now.... During my journey from disabled former government worker, to the current status I now have within the Alaskan Democrat party, there has been a void. While I enjoy many talents in the arts (plugging in microphones) I haven't mastered the medium of Photoshop. My trusty comrade "Dr. Shillz" has graced us with his magnificent skill, and will now be supplying my graphics to illustrate my master plan.....and my morbid obsession with Governor Palin's every move......At least he freakin better. I warned him about skipping out on me. He will, and we will all be able to sit back in our own private utopia and gaze across the spectrum of Dr. Shillz artistic prowess.

Also, for my loyal suckers I've added a new fantastic feature. You can now attach an avatar to your profile when you make a donation to my bank account....To be spent on whatever, and that may or may not be political gifts....wink wink. Oh crap, I hate the word wink now.....SHE RUNIED WINKING!! I'm just trying to be careful because oops, I forgot to file any of the appropriate paperwork for a "political" fund. So if any of those Palinbots ask....You just want me to buy groceries with it OK! Just pick your avatar and shut up.

Each one is a representative of one of my favorite comrades. Enjoy.

Gryphen: we call him the truthseeker

AKMooseraker

Shannyn: just a blonde haired blue eyed doll from Homer

Tinkerbelle

HAPPY SUMMER SOLSTICE

2009-06-21T00:51:00.000-07:00

Oh Happy Solstice!!!!
My heart is so full of the Sun God today, I just don't know what to do with myself.

For all of you heretics out there, not familiar with Wiccan tradition. Let me fill your little skulls with some Pagan enlightenment.

The Solstice is the time when we celebrate the bounty of the earth (or our welfare checks) and the power of the sun (or the power to intimidate public figures with massive frivolous lawsuits). Our fields are flourishing (remember to DONATE!!!), fruits are blossoming on the trees, herb bushes are fragrant and full of life. Consider offering a few prayers to the gods I tell you to at Litha, or to the sun itself......Or perhaps just worship ME for the day, my minions.

Oh, I wish I could be with my Druid brethren today at Stonehenge.....Couldn't afford the plane ticket this year.
Maybe I'll start a fund for that next year, and you guys can just go ahead and pay for that too...OK.

There is just something about a bunch of white people all gathered together in the middle of nowhere, dressed in white robes, burning torches.....(**sigh**)

What?....It's FINE!!!!

SLAPPin' the Governor

2009-06-19T23:20:00.000-07:00

JUST A REMINDER...YOU, as my loyal minions need to DONATE money to ME. To make make that Governor accountable to ME.

Take the Pledge:
say it with me now.......

"I will contribute to the downfall of that woman and FOR a mass centralized global government!"
Very good

Now to the SLAPPin'
What's SLAPP you say?

SLAPP: Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation -
A Strategic Lawsuit Against Public Participation ("SLAPP") is a lawsuit that is intended to intimidate and silence critics by burdening them with the cost .

So that's what we do.......wait a minute, that's what we already do.
DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!! I thought I had an original idea. shoot.

Well, it's not working so far....But you just wait....I've got this guy who charges me lots of my subsidy money to tell me what I want to hear....I wouldn't pay him otherwise....LOL!
If all 5 of you could just give me $64,996.27 I could get those emails from the Governor, and I just know that there is something in there I could spin into a news story. I've already covered the other portion of the costs.

Where's my freakin back up from Dear Leader???(forgive me....groveling)

I'm just frustrated.....

I needed a new idea before I headed out for a good long weekend of setnetting, and wilderness Dungeons & Dragons. I just got the new D&D outdoor explorer kit in the mail...Thanks to last months welfare check...You know, my government handouts only go so far so DONATE!!!!

A Tinker's Accountability-A-Thon

2009-06-16T22:55:00.001-07:00

I'm launching A Tinker's Accountability-A-Thon....
I need money because....

1.) I don't have a job.

2.) I spend all my time trying to find a way to get an ethics complaint going against the governor. Can you believe they want to charge me money to take away their resources??? "Staff hours" they claim...pa-leeeeze. They won't let me rummage through her file cabinets, or even look through her pantry.......The absolute level of corruption in my state is out of control.

After I submitted my request to that wingnut administration. Her cohort sent me a letter back indicating all costs....$65,000 for every email in every account from everyone the governor has ever met....What a rip, but what else am I going to do with my time and re-education?

AGIA...OMG!!

2009-06-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

I could have sworn we....I mean the democrats in the legislature were going to kill this stupid pipeline.

Instead they voted 58-1 in favor of miss barracuda and her stinking line of gas...They told me at the Eric Croft fundraiser that they were going to stand firm for progressive principals and reject private construction in favor of our great Dear Leader's federal management. Oh wondrous leader, ye of great managing skill and intellect. How horrid for us all that YOU our loved President, neglected the opportunity to have control over the flow of natural gas through Canada into the lower 48. All because she wanted a political win....Well guess who loses....the caribou.....the bears....the birds...and the LGBT community....That's who....I mean, I'm sure if the President got to claim credit for the deal going through, it would have been progressive friendly....Instead all we have now is an ugly right-winger tube stretching as long as the eye can see. (**sigh**)

Anti-Letterman Hate

2009-06-11T23:07:00.000-07:00

A stunning display of hatred from
some right-wingers in Pennsylvania...

When is it enough? Don't you wingnuts know when a man has had enough abuse?

I can't take it any more...I'll be on the phone tomorrow with as many lawyers as I can find in that state to see about filing a complaint. I know it probably won't be as easy as it is here in my state, but I'll try.

UPDATE: TREACHEROUS HEATHENS NOW write statement of support for Governor Palin...What is this world coming to?

Mr. Left Night Comedy...

2009-06-09T23:23:00.001-07:00

DAVID LETTERMAN!!!

Wow sir, you receive my "Champion for the Cause, of the Day Award"!!

Isn't he funny? I mean, I know ratings aren't what they use to be over at CBS, but still. Those stupid rating companies must all be owned by right-wingers anyway...Well, I think he's funny. He called Governor Palin a "slutty flight attendant"...That's almost as good as when she called me asinine (ASS - inine)...I didn't really like it when she called me a "Buffoon" however...I thought she called me a "Baboon" and I got totally pissed...Threw the blender clear across the room...

So after I read what Sir Dave had on his super progressive approved entertainment show last night. I knew I had to see what those wretched right-winger women were saying...I decided to lurk around several of her fan sites to see how the sickos would react...Oh cry me a river. They all had their panties in a bunch asking "where are all the feminist groups to support Sarah"? Excuse me? Feminist groups??? To help HER???? **ROFL** Ummm, feminist groups do not help conservative women, HELLO!! There is no such thing as sexism towards right-wingers. Right-winger women don't believe in abortion. How could they be for woman's rights, when they are not for gay marriage? How could they be for equal opportunity when the are for 2nd amendment rights?...They know nothing of woman's empowerment by not understanding the virtues of a mass centralized government...So keep walking ladies, go support your Troops elsewhere!

Governor Plagiarist

2009-06-07T21:58:00.000-07:00

It seems I have located yet ANOTHER plagiarism scandal involving the governor of my great state Alaska. This woman cannot seem to write her own material EVER!!!!

In the May edition of what is called "Christian Living Magazine"...(**ew**) the sea creature gives an interview in which she does just that. Here is the part of the interview that I submit as EVIDENCE of this gross misdeed:

CL: As a Christian leader, how do you deal with such difficult situations?
(pssst...They called her a CHRSITIAN LEADER!!!...Oh my....see I told you she is setting up a Theocracy here in Alaska....okay, back to the interview....watch for the plagarism)

Sarah: I look back at Scripture that reminds me, hey, I'm sure not the first to face this. Criticism will come. Unfair shots will be taken. The question is how are you going to react?** I like I Peter 2:12. It says to keep your conduct honorable, so that by your good works, which are observed by others, God will be glorified.** When I read that I know others have faced this before me. They face it today. Who am I to exempt myself from a principle like that? In spite of it all, I've got to live my life to glorify God. That's what I promised myself I'd do 30 years ago, and that's what I must do now-not just to talk it, but to walk it.

So this Peter guy gets ROBBED in broad daylight by the likes of Sarah, and nobody at that right-wing publication takes one second to call her out on it...See what they let her get away with....

ROYAL SARAH TOURS

2009-06-06T21:14:00.000-07:00

I received a call this morning from the friend of a friend of a friend. She told me that she came upon a busload of stupid tourists from a Royal Celebrity Tours cruise ship. She saw this totally hot Scottish dude (you know how I like red...**dreamy sigh**) and struck up a conversation. He told her something that made her Progressive blood boil. He said the right-wing bus driver had been broadcasting OVER THE INTERCOM to his pool of dumb subjects that the reckless decisions Palin have made are very good for the State of Alaska. Including her treacherous rejection of Dear Leaders stimulus money. The man said that the right-winger continued to blow smoke about that damn woman.

Ohhhh yes...HUGE SHOCK THERE...Sarah Palin, friendly with the tourism industry...future potential office seeker...gets praises on tour busses full of Americans that could possibly vote for her one day...Governor Palin, promoting tourism in my great state of Alaska...DON'T they know that it is campaign time, all the time....You cannot tell the lower 48ers that this public servant is serving the public.....They may think she is doing a great job or something!!!

I wonder if totally jumping in the Cuda tank is a company policy??

HOUND THEM MY MINIONS!!!!!

WHAT ABOUT THE PANTS!

2009-06-04T21:16:00.001-07:00

For those of you who thought this Tinker was done with the "Arctic Cat Corruption Scandal", think again...

If you look carefully, you can see that Sarah is wearing PANTS!!

Clearly THOSE pants were designed to match that JACKET.... and clearly that JACKET was designed to BENEFIT that governor. Clearly that is an ethical violation in my home, the state of Alaska.

First thing in the afternoon when I get up, I plan on confronting a list of lawyers to pursue my objective to make that governor accountable to me. The personnel board of this state is corrupt, and obviously swimming in the barracuda TANK! I can prove without any doubt that that board is committing their own ethical lapses by letting HER get away with this. If they think for one damn minute I am giving up, they gotta another thing coming......

You think your funny Sarah??? Huh? You and that damn Twitter account. She posted this to rub it in I presume: "win against Democrat blogger's ethics charge that I shouldn't wear my warm snowmachine coat to cold Iron Dog"..............grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Well, I have to tell you my dear minions, this is starting to get to me. I think I need to get out of the house tonight. Maybe I'll call Levi to see what he and his Sis are doing. You know, when he first came on the payroll I was skeptical. I figured however, that anyone "down with the cause", or at least willing to get paid for it, is all right by me................What do rednecks do for fun anyway?

CORRUPTION ALERT!!!!

2009-06-03T14:29:00.000-07:00

OUTRAGE:HOW IS THIS NOT CORRUPTION???

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
UPDATE: I'm appealing this decision by the NON-TRANSPARENT, CORRUPT government of ALASKA.........I can do that can't I???? Maybe??? HELP!!!!!!!!

GET ON BOARD PAL

2009-06-01T18:45:00.000-07:00

What the heck is wrong with that woman!!!
THIS is not part of the PLAN.

How is Alaska suppose to enjoy all the wonderful amenities of a STRONG, MIGHTY, and BIG Federal government if that sea creature keeps this up?

All the Progressive states are on board...I'm on board...Bob Poe is on board. Meanwhile the state of Alaska flutters in the wind without the stability our Dear, Great, Handsome, and Fearless Leader's direction in our future. The children of my state deserve better than that. Damn that freakin potential future office seeker...Why do I bother?? She wants to "monitor" Common Core. FOR WHAT! There is no need to "monitor" perfection. The President KNOWS what he is DOING Sarah, so just give in and bow down like the rest of us

I spent the entire campaign (and everyday since) trying to break that woman's grip on

my life...All to have her remain defiant in the face of the new HOPE and CHANGE.

Education is important to me.......what, it is.....really, I care.

Because You Care

2009-06-01T11:57:00.000-07:00

I know yesterday you ALL were wondering "Where is Tinker?"......"Where are my Progressive Talking Points?"....Well, just so you know this Celtic Goddess was gardening!!!!!
I don't consider gardening "work" at all. It is a ritual in which I engage thine Mother Earth.
Way better that that stupid worshiping service you "Christians" attend....

Bombshell Potential Ethics Complaint

2009-05-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

I know all of you (Mud) that have contributed money to my effort to make that governor accountable to me, are wondering if I've been able to garner any information to bring this "woman" known as Cuda to her knees...I may just have it.

What I found is A-freakin'-mazing...

It seems our 24/7 Governor is SITTING DOWN ON THE JOB and it’s not at her desk! Our sources tell us that the Guv takes frequent visits to the ladies room throughout the day – without her BlackBerries, assistants or groups of motorcycle gangs in order to validate her absences from the office.

Of course, our hall monitor was BANNED from the Guv’s mansion and office, but our sources tell us that they have a good idea of how many non-Alaska related trips our lovely Guv takes to the lavatory: if you estimate that our Sunshine Sarah is AWOL in the water closet approximately eight times per day, at a minimum of 10 minutes each – that equals 80 minutes a day! Multiple that by seven days and that is almost 9.3 hours per week … are you ready for this? The final tally: approximately 485 HOURS of toilet trips per year!

What Have We Learned? The Governor wastes over 20 days per year in the loo ... paid with … Alaskan tax dollars! Oh, let’s not stop there. We know that once HRH is behind stall doors, she’s swiping the wipes. Who knows how much toilet paper the Guv uses while pottying on our dime! Five sheets of double-ply… I don’t think so!! Knowing how much our Pal Palin likes “free” stuff, she’s probably using at least 10 sheets at a time. Folks, we’re talking about entire Alaskan forests getting flushed away just to create enough TP for SP. Just the cost of tissue for Sarah P. will PLUNGE the state budget into the red! Ain’t she just charmin’ the Charmin!

Dear Leader "Urged" by Governor Palin

2009-05-29T22:05:00.000-07:00

My, my, my....Look what we have here
Governor Palin "Urging" the wonderful, dynamic, dapper, handsome, charming, and cool President of the United States of America (which now I like, at least for the time being) Barack Hussein Obama to "Stand Firm"...Are you kidding me or what. "Stand Firm"??? What does that mean?
No!! That is exactly the wrong advice to give.....So here's mine because I have a blog, therefore I am important.
Mr. President, Dear Leader, what you need to do is go on a whirlwind tour to North Korea. Take TOTUS, and let those Koreans know just how sorry you are that they have had to deal with our stupid country interfering with their right to subject their population to starvation and a totalitarian dictatorship. Who are we to say they can't blow up their neighbors......or Alaska......wait a minute......never mind......Say you're sorry, and POOF, they will melt in your hand in the fashion of Julio Osegueda
So, thanks Governor Palin, but "The One" doesn't need any advice from the likes of you....Especially when he has Rahm Emmanuel. Now that man is wise.
Another bit of advice I would give to the President, is to ask your army of lawyers if there was any violation committed in the governor's "urging"......Could be grounds to file a complaint you know.

Why I Hate Sarah Palin by Glinda Killin Beagles

2009-05-28T23:14:00.000-07:00

Many of you may be wondering why I have such a psychopathic angry fixation with the Governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin....
Well, I'll freakin tell you why.

Number 1. She's a Republican.........All things not Democrat, must be destroyed.

Number 2. She's a CONSERVATIVE........What kind of Republican does she think she is?? Huh, Guvy Pal Pal....Dontcha' know the GOP is suppose to lick thy donkey boot?

Number 3. She's got a job.......I'm not sure what that is, but I don't like it.

Number 4. She's pretty......I haaaaate pretty girls. I mean you're pretty so what...RIGHT!!

Number 5. She's in shape.....Always showing those freakin legs of hers in public.....I haven't even seen my legs in 8 years......I mean come on already.

Number 6. The media always wants to talk to her and not me.......What a bunch of losers.
(except for you Shannyn, and Amanda, and Sean, and Keith, and MSNBC, and CNN, and LINK TV, and NBC, and Katie, and Charlie, and CBS, and PBS....luv u guys...smootches.)

Number 7. She's married to that snowmachine guy........He's not even obese, I mean yuk.

Number 8. She's a Christian......PAGANS RULE, and don't you forget it.

Number 9. She just thinks she's just so damn important......grrrrrr. Do you all know how many "Progressive Re-Education" Seminars I've had to attend since I was the official DNC Blogger for the State of Alaska, during the AWESOME DNC Convention in Denver last year??? No...well lots just so you know.

Number 10. Why is she so damn happy all the time!!!!!